I’m not going to lie, I’ve just laid in the bath for 37 minutes….. topped it up with fresh hot water twice and eaten a Maltesers chocolate bar. Once I’d exhausted Twitter, Instagram and Facebook (there’s only so many times you can refresh) I got to thinking about me and my body and my constant struggle with weight and food and body confidence (yawn, constantly fills my head space) and that was the moment I decided something. I AM GOING TO BAN THE WORD FAT….. I’m not going to call myself it any more, because, guess what? I’m not fat, curvy, yes, voluptuous, yes, cuddly, yes but what the bloody hell am I doing to my self-esteem every time I call myself FAT, fuck all that’s the answer, I am doing fuck all for my self-esteem and do you know what maybe it might be the first step on my journey this year to become at one with my body (including all my curves and imperfections). Sozzy about that incredibly long sentence, but needs must.
I’m going to Thailand in 2 weeks and I’m not “bikini ready”, whatever the bloody hell that may be, although I’ll save that rant for another day. However, you know what, I’m at one with not being “bikini ready” because I fit into my lovely summer clothes and feel nice in them, which is the most important thing right?
I have also decided right here and right now that I will not poke and prod my bikini body in the mirror and use that word about myself, I will focus only on the positives (hopefully how good my cleavage looks and how much of a tan line I’ve got **praying**). It’s going to be a challenge, but you know what, I think it is just what I need.
Wish me luck and maybe think about doing the same…..I might even do a little update post in a month’s time, probs won’t because I’ll be addicted to some shitty TV programme or will too busy browsing on ASOS, but I’ll try.