1. That indescribable bubbling excitement that travels through your whole body about a week (or longer) before your vacay starts.
2. Buying all new toiletries…. yep even buying Ibroprofen and shower gel is exciting when you’re going on holiday okay?
3. Setting your out of office, bliss
4. Waking up early to start your adventure, whether it be by plane, train, bus, car or boat.
5. Checking you’ve got your passport, purse and tickets 628 times before you leave the house and a further 39 times on the way to the airport and then twice more whilst standing in line for the check-in desk
6. Having a pint or G&T in the airport… or pint of G&T, doesn’t matter if it’s 6am, airport holiday rules state that alcohol can be drunk at any time of day on immediate arrival to the departure lounge.
7. That delightful heat that hits you in the face like a baseball bat as soon as you step off the plane
8. The transfer bus dropping off at the different hotels and praying that “this one isn’t ours” when they look shit. They feeling all smug when they pull up to yours and it’s a bit like a palace.
9. The Sweet smell of that first spray of suntan lotion and that delightful feeling of putting your aftersun in the fridge and slapping it on your slightly pink skin.
10. Sitting in the sun for 5 minutes, realising your dying then getting straight in the pool/sea, then repeating for the next 6 hours for the next 4-14 days
11. Drinking cocktails at 10am because it’s holiday time and they are all inclusive and I want to be drunk all day everyday please and thanks.
12. Eating all the food…. literally all of it, hoovering it up because as we all know holiday calories don’t count (until you weigh yourself when you’re home).
13. Having a nap on your sun lounger, then waking up all sweaty and dribbly but you don’t care because A) You can just jump in the pool and B) You’re ready and rebooted ready to stay out until 3am.
14. The deafening, yet comforting sound of all the crickets singing you a little summertime song.
15. The lovely bit of time after you’ve got back from the pool/beach and before going out for dinner where you sit on the balcony 85% naked, eating cheetos, reading a mag and drinking gin.
16. Wearing ridiculous outfits: diva kaftans, bum eating shorts, tassels, and other daring things that you would never ever dream of pulling on in the UK, but you don’t care because you ain’t ever gonna see these people again.
17. Looky Looks men trying to sell you all the goods and garms – umbrella hats, they got em, light up watches, they got em, rey bona, they got em. All to be bought at extremely reasonable price if your’e prepared to haggle like a mofo
18. Toilet monitors/cleaners. These may be exclusive to all those dirty places I love to hate (Magaluf, Ibiza, Benidorm) There to try and sell you badges, hair products, make up and tend to sing you little songs – my all time favourite “come and freshen up, get your pussy wet” classy, I know.
19. Getting bitten to death by mosquitos, even though you’ve used 2 types of spray, have a plug in and bathed in citronella before you’ve left the room. Then consequently tryings every remedy to stop you scratching the first 34 layers of skin off.
20. Making sure you end the holiday with a McDonalds or Burger King, because you obvs can’t get on in the UK
21. The dreaded holiday blues, laying in bed and crying when you realise you have to work for a living and can’t just jet off on holiday 365 days a year. Holiday Blues Traits include, debating quitting your job, questioning all of your life choices thus far, debating calling in sick for the rest of your life, frantically looking at holidays that leave tomorrow, standing on the scales and wanting to head butt yourself, meticulously planning your next holiday and checking how many holiday days you have left and praying it’s more than 2.5.
22. Exploring a experiencing this beautiful world we are so lucky to live in.
23. And finally, best of all, making memories that last a life time