Happy birthday to me (5 weeks ago) happy birthday to me (5 weeks ago)…. sung in happy birthday song, but I’m hoping you all got that without me having to explain. So I’ve been 27 for 5 weeks, which means I’m only bloody 46 weeks away from 28, eye roll. I had serious birthday blues, I’ve always made my birthday a bit of a thing, but this year I tried to ignore it because I just wasn’t feeling it. It was made even worse when I opened what I thought was a birthday card and it was a bill for £1,400 for my service charge, Happy birthday to me (kill me now).
The first five weeks of my 27th year has been good. I feel like things are on the up and I just having a feeling this is going to be a bloody good year…. watch this space. With this excitement has come some sort of acceptance that I am indeed getting older, sob, sob, cry, cry and with that I thought I’d note down some things that I’ve come to terms with.
- **Spoiler Alert** I’m no longer 18 – Yep saying that out loud was extremely hard. Gone are the days where we could somehow afford to go out 3 nights a week. Optic Wednesday’s, 241 faith Thursday’s and then Hanks/Hush on a Saturday night. I think we must have taken advantage of pre-drinking, because we were always rolling around on the floor in some drunken state, but we probably only bought 2 drinks when we were out and we’d never, ever buy a round…. each sista for themselves. Nowadays we arrange a night out 2 months in advance and then half the people cancel. We live for girls holidays (which we have to pretend are hen do’s) so we can relive our youth and be vile like we used to be… but in a foreign country so nobody knows us.
- Going out dressed up every weekend is no longer acceptable – We were addicted to fancy dress, don’t ask me why?! Someone’s birthday, fancy dress…. Christmas, fancy dress ……. summer, fancy dress, ridiculous I know, but boy oh boy, we had some fun. And don’t even get me started on t-shirts, we got some printed once for a bank holiday, YEP. Not even mentioning the holiday’s where we got 2 printed…. one to travel in and another to all wear on a night out.
- Staying in is the new going out – netflix and chill (and takeaway) with the girls is much more appealing than going out out. We can drink wine at home with our takeaway and x factor and we can actually hear each other talking, I know I sound old, I’m ok with that.
- When I do go out I feel like a 40 year gremlin – There’s all the young guns looking all young and pretty with their high heels and their pretty hair and make-up and we’re just over in the corner like “hi, we’re just fine with our shit hair, smudged lipstick, flat shoes and probably drink stains down our dresses”.
- Hangovers last forever – Okay, maybe not forever but it feels like it. 2-3 days?!?! What is with that. With the hangover comes the sadness that we’re no longer youths, the desire to eat all the food and the fact we look like a pile of shit.
- We are actual adults – There’s no getting away with it, we’re adults, fully fledged adults with mortgages, responsibilities and actual real life jobs. One of my friends is a dentist for god’s sake, how did that happen?! We are trusted to do a job and get paid a wage for the privilege. People are married and have children, some of them multiple children!
- Life is so expensive – When we were 18, we would buy a new outfit every week? How? I earned £186per week when I was 18 and still managed to live the life. Now I earn quite a bit more (a lot more) than that and I can’t even afford to buy a new outfit for a wedding, let alone for some random person’s 18th birthday party! I refer you back to being an adult and having responsibilities. It really upsets me that I used to have so much disposable income and I saved none of it, just spaffed it all on gin and shoes and gin and shoes.
- Things just don’t seem as embarrassing anymore – Granted some things are completely and utterly mortifying, but things you’d die at when we were 21 are just a bit lol (for example your mum getting drunk in front of your friends) We encourage that shit nowadays.
- Wrinkles and Grey Hairs – I got over the wrinkles and bags ages ago, my non-existent skincare routine is probably to blame, but I will happily grow old gracefully and although my eye wrinkles are insane, I like that they show that I like to smile, that’s a good thing right? However the grey hairs have been more upsetting. My friend’s dad doinked out my first grey hair about 5 or 6 years ago and I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry and since then a few have crept up, however Emily gleefully found and removed 3 grey hairs in one go last week 3!!!!! I only asked for a bloody french plait! Initially I thought I could quite happily walk off a cliff and then I realised this shit is gonna happen now I’m at the sour end of my 20’s. They could have been there for months (and probably have) and I’ve been none the wiser, so why should I care now?! I’m lucky I haven’t started going grey sooner! There’s always hair dye after all…… runs to salon and books retouch appointment.
- Peer pressure can peer pressure off – Back in the day I’d do things I didn’t really want to do…. I don’t even like Sambuca, GAG. Now I will quite happily say no, no I don’t want a shot, because I’ll be sick on the bar. No I won’t down my drink, call me a no fun Cecil all you like, I don’t care! If I want to down a gin I will……. and often do, but on my terms only please.
- High heels can get in the bin – I’m so over a heel, yes I may pour myself into them for a *very* special occasion, but for a night out with the girl huh, uh, my stumpy little block heels with a bit of gold or glitter added will do me just fine thank you very much.
- I will never be thin – I want to be what I thought I was fat in 2012, that is the dream. However I’ve accepted I will never be thin and I don’t actually want that any more, I just want to be happy and fit into my clothes (which at the moment I don’t). Looking back you spend so much time, thinking, worrying or focusing on weight and at the end of the day, what does it matter? Happiness is much more important, so I need to focus on the right balance between pizza and cheese everyday, maybe it needs to be a once a week thing. Everything in moderation and the feeling of guilt if something naught does pass my lips, right, rant over. And with that, there are parts of my body that I will never love, however I have learnt that I need to accept them. I used to hate my boobs, actual detest them, but I’m just a bit over it now, I’m not going to change them so why not embrace them! And guess what that very thing you hate, people might love about you, or they may not even notice it (my small ear, probs why I’m 40% deaf). Most of the time if you don’t tell people about it, they don’t notice it! Winner.
- Holiday’s aren’t all about getting a tan – Yes, I know it’s bloody lovely to return from your travels looking like a golden goddess, but hey, you know what’s more fun? Daytime drinking, exploring and making memories. I also learnt that being sunburnt is not cool, it’s not clever, it sure as hell isn’t safe and it isn’t a good look.
- Friendships will change – As you get older your friendship circle decreases. Sometimes you decide to leave people behind and sometimes people decide to leave you behind. It helps to make you grow. As you get older you accept that you’re are allowed to remove toxic people from your life and you feel confident in challenging things friends may do or say that you may not agree with. You learn to accept that you won’t see your friends as much as you want to, but if they are real friends and you reach out to them, they will always be there.
- Be who you want to be – In the words of Michael Jackson “it doesn’t matter if your black or white” so yeh that and a whole lot more. Be who the hell you want to be and don’t apologise for that. If people don’t like it they can fuck off.
- It’s OK to say no – It actually gets easier the older you get. You worry less about hurting people’s feeling and know how to say no without sounding like an utter bitch. No is usually no because I’m poor, but sometimes no is no because I actually don’t want to go and at the grand age of 27, why should I go somewhere I don’t want to…. I shouldn’t, that’s the answer!
- 27 isn’t that old – Not really in the grand scheme of things. I may feel like I’m ready to collect my pension (I wish) and grab my knitting needles, but i’ve actually got a lot of life in me yet. So the next 3 years I’m going to have a ball, not concentrate on grey hairs, wrinkles and podgy bits and I can guarantee you, when I hit 30, I’ll be having the party of a lifetime!
Just for lols I asked my friends for some of their idea’s for this post…. here’s a few that made me die
“I’ve accepted all men are c**ts”
“I’ve learnt that now my mum is the needy one I CBA with her. I don’t get the benefits I used to”
“I’ll tell you what I’ve accepted – that I do the school run looking like a pile of shit”
“I’ve learnt that I used to be able to eat 4500 chocolate cakes a day without putting on weight and now I only have to lick the top of a cake and I’ve put on 18 stone”
“I’ve learnt that cheese really is life” You may think I actually wrote this one considering my track record with cheese, but it was not, promise.
“I have learnt that I need 18377783 hours sleep, but only get about 5 hours ever and can’t lay in ever”
“I have learnt I detest sweet potato fries on an extremely petty basis and the different between Pinot Grigio and a Sauvignon Blanc is enough to ruin my evening”